Kinds of Stoners
Before I start, let me tell you my views. Cannabis, not marijuana, is the topic at hand. I do not believe it should actually be classified as such in any more way than caffiene, tobacco, alcohol or ginseng. I also rarely use the term “marijuana”, as it is a term made up by the propegators of this foolish stereotype. They tie marijuana use to stoners like the Christians tie homosexuality to HIV and immorality. These simply are not true. I am working, going to school, do my homework, read, write, speak to friends. I am a philosopher, a musician, an artist, an author, a historian, a teacher-in-training. I am a caring person, a loving person, and a working person, albeit not the nicest person.
Cannabis has been clinically proven to help sufferers of many illnesses, and while not clinically PROVEN, it has been tested and shown to reduce many others, including the very cancer people have stated it causes. There has never been a definitive study to show it causes cancer, emphyszema, brain damage, kills brain cells, nor caused car accidents or harmed anybody. Not once, in the history of its use on Earth has it been linked to death, aside from other intoxicants, its prohibition, or outlying forces.
It has helped create some of the greatest music, art, literature we know today. Even discounting the “drug” aspect of it, hemp have been used in virtually everything from the dawn of man, to the 20th century. Clothes, fuel, paint, food, heating, plastics, construction, writing, teaching. Nearly everything.
There are, amongst cannabis users, several different “kinds”, or catagories, of stoner. The movie Half Baked alluded to this, and most believe in them, and cite those kinds, even today. There are 6 basic types, and a few sub-catagories. I have learned these through living with, dealing with, and being in love with stoners most of my life. We will start with the sub-catagories. (Note. I say “use” a lot, and it sounds like a bad thing. A heroine user, or meth user. I am not categorizing it with those, I simply mean “use” is the meaning they consume it in different ways. To say “smoke” would denote there are no other ways to get high. There are.)
The “Rarely” User
This type uses cannabis maybe once a year. Sometimes more, sometimes less. They are not stoners, just use once in a long enough while to be your ordinary average businessman or woman. This is, in reality, a much larger group than anyone cares to admit. It is deemed a social ill, sadly.
The “Casual” User
This is where most users live. On occasion, once every one to three months, they will partake of a bowl or two, or maybe even buy their own small quantity. These also make up most of the FSs, the PSs, and the MSs. I will explain these further below
The “True” User
This is what Hollywood and the government think of us. The press, the parents, the police. They think we are these silly, slacker, lazy, often unintelligent users of a “drug” which makes us stupid. Notice I say “drug”. This is a small group of users, in reality, and those in this group nearly always become a rarely or a casual later in life. “True” users are usually 15-25, and after this point settle into one of the other categories for a number of reasons.
The Friend Stoner (FS)
These are the people that only use cannabis with friends or company. The get high, play videogames, watch movies, what have you. They often pitch in, sometimes even buy, but arent the people you go to. Much like the MS, they come to you. They are social peoples, who simply want to enhance the fun they have, using cannabis. They do it at parties, or at concerts. A friend usually get them in to it, and it is usually around that friend, or friends they met through it’s use, that they continue to use. They will often drink, or smoke ciggarettes only during these times as well. A “social butterfly”, as my friend elloquently put it. They often have no peice of their own, or only a single, small peice suffecient for their purposes.
They usually fall into the casual or true sub-categories.
The Mooch Stoner(MS)
The mooch. All people who get high know a mooch. At least one or two. These are the true rapscallions of smokedom, particularly if they are true users. These guys and gals do it just to get high, just to push aside all the other stuff in life, and they don’t always care how. They are much like the FS, but usually without money for their own, or very little. They will do favors to get weed, or pitch in 5 dollars for a much larger quantity amongst friends, and then use more than their cost. Most stoners are very giving people, and that is why the MSs can survive. They excell at scraping bowls, getting the best high out of a small amount, and even searching around in tossed baggies or roaches. While they are often nice, and even sometimes very giving in other areas, with this commodity, they are never generous. They will often latch on to one of the other types of stoners, usually a true or casual PS, CS or RSS. Sometimes they will even latch on to one another, sharing their winnings and using it as a prize for their teamwork. I myself have seen this several times. They often have no peice of their own, but are the Macguyvers of the pot underworld. They are able to make a piece out of nearly anything, including, not unlike Macguyver, some paperclips.
They very rarely fall in to any category but true, but sometimes they fall into casual. Never have I met a rarely MS.
The Philosophy Stoner(PS)
Much like the CS and RSS, they use cannabis to relax their minds and create something. Unlike the other two, these people create a world view, thoughts on people and ultimate reality. Cannabis induces mental clarity for these people, and they are often seen using very high-grade cannabis, but only over small lengths of time. They want a great high as quickly as possible, and the amount of weed they have to last as long as possible. The longer they have, the greater insight into the world they are able to find. The PS is an interesting breed when it comes to pipes, bongs and the like. Much like the CS and MS, they can make anything into a piece, but usually prefer their single, beloved piece or two. They almost always have either only a few, small peices, or an elaborate setup they have created, or an elaborate piece they have chosen to go with their reason for use.
This group falls primarily into casual, but some are true and some are rarely. While they cover the entire board of usage sub-category, the overwhelming lump will be found using once or twice a month for extended periods. They become “true” stoners for a period of several days, or even weeks. Then they will revert to their previous state, as the answer they were seeking has been found.
The Creative Stoner(CS)
Much like the PS, they use cannabis, usually high-sativa blends, to write, paint, draw, make music or whathaveyou. This group very often interlaps with others, particularly RSS and PS. They use the psychoactive chemicals not simply for fun, but for creation and idea. Many of the great artists either were this, or greatly suspected of it. The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and Bob Dylan all come to mind. Rarely do they have more than several pieces, perhaps some of which are handmade. They often choose these pieces aesthetically, rather than for functionality. Like the MS and PS, they excell at creating pieces, coming naturally from their ability to create. Give a group of CSs, as they often come together in groups, a stack of books, tin foil, a sharp knife, and a glass bottle and they will have something rigged up in a matter of minutes.
This group, like its sister-stoner group the PSs, are usually casual. It is nearly impossible to find a rarely amongst these, unless they have taken a break from their creative activities as well. Their use and creativity are tied together, and when the creative juices start flowing, so do the lighters.
The Relaxation/Sleep Stoner(RSS)
Often more of a sub-category than a true type, these users smoke, drink or eat their way into relaxation, freedom from stress, or even sleep. Usually using a high-indica blend with less psychoactivity to aid in this, they are often known for their relaxed moods under the influence. While some use socially, much like the CS and PS, they are usually an at-home or downtime user. The sound, calm mind that indica brings them helps ease their worldly worries, and lift the nasty insomnias that often come with them
These users are rarely, or casual. Most, unless using medically, are not stoners in the type that mainstream think. They rarely go out and about while high, and rarely do more than watch tv, read, speak mildly with friends, or sleep.
The Relapse Stoner(RES)
The RES is the strangest of all breeds, because it can form into any category. It is a transitional phase, much like the times before a category was chosen by a user, when first using cannabis. The RES will usually start slow, on low- to mid-grade plants, and will use it as a relaxant, creative tool, or social tool. Relapse stoners are once-stoners who have quit, for whatever reason, and during the time without have changed their lives. They are re-evaluating their world from the time they were a true stoner. They have had kids, or are in college, or found God, or whatever it may be since they ended use. This time period can be as little as a few months, or many years. I have seen it in both cases. Often times they will fall back into the same category as they were prior, but from time to time their lives have changed so much, or their outlooks, that they begin using for an entirely seperate reason. The kinds they use, and even how, differs greatly from person to person, and even timeframe. Some still have pieces from their old days, some will buy new ones, and some won’t buy any at all, prefering to do their own thing now.
These users are anything. It is impossible to know during this phase, a phase which is only transitional. Many will become entirely different from their former using personas.
Now, I should point out, these categories are not black and white. Many stoners will find they fall into several categories. Some may not even see themselves as any of these, but they will come in time. These are the basic categories of all stoners on the planet, I believe. Some things may be added or subtracted to each, it is true. In the end, however, all people will fall primarily into one, perhaps two, of these categories.
